The True Doctor
2018-10-14 19:50:02 UTC
or Morons in Space
or One Fortune Coincidence After Another
or Let Me Glance Once More At My Dildo
or Is That A Banana In The Middle Of The Control Console, Or Are You
Just Glad To See Me?
Absolute badly conceived and produced garbage!
So Whittaker and co. materialize in deep space, they should be dead in
seconds, all their blood vessels should have burst, they should be cover
in blood, and their lungs should have exploded if they didn't expel all
the air in them immediately, which no one told them to do, when their
natural reaction would have been to hold their breaths, and as if by
magic two space craft appear, piloted by imbeciles with northern
accents, and one pair is rescued by one imbecile, and the other by the
After all the fortunate coincidences driving the first episode, adding
even more fortunate coincidences, on top of bad science, makes it
totally unbelievable beyond measure.
So, the imbecile pilots turn out to be playing some sort of multiplayer
racing and shoot-em-up game, only for real.
Chibnall already used that idea in the first episode, so why use it
again in the second? The talent-less fool seems to have even fewer
original ideas than Moffat, who at least didn't recycle the same brief
twice in back to back episodes.
The moronic game continues down on the nearby planet, with Art Malik
being stunt-cast as the games-master, and the location of the TARDIS or
Ghost Machine is revealed, and they have to reach it to win, but the
conditions on the planet are hostile to life.
Along the way Graham (Bradley Walsh) is further emasculated and demeaned
by being made to ware ladies sun glasses. Ryan's dyspraxia suddenly
completely vanishes as now he's able to shoot a gun while on the move
and always hit his target. Talk about not having any coordination and
being unable to ride a bike. This proves the arsehole Chibnall only did
that so make Ryan look weak in the first week, and now he makes him weak
in the second by making him run away from the killer Robots when he is
outnumbered, and then gives him a fear of heights when he needs to climb
up a ladder.
Whittaker then, by yet another fortunate coincidence, finds a button to
press which discharges and EMP which immobilizes the Robots. If this
were explained in the dialogue as being part of the context of the game,
it might just have been acceptable, but it wasn't. Instead what were are
give is a pile of irrelevant mind numbing soap opera.
Naturally, the totally disgusting racist, sexist, and heterophobic
agenda continues, as the female pilot turns out to be a married lesbian,
which explains the lack of any romance, which is the only way this pile
of crap of a story would have worked, had there been any, and better
actors who didn't talk and behave like imbeciles were cast in the roles.
The monster of the week turns out to be a bunch of dirty cloth bandages.
Finally the TARDIS appears by magic just as Whittaker thinks it's gone
and won't be back for another thousand years.
All the way through Whittaker keeps gazing at her sonic dildo and using
it as a magic wand, and then when they all enter the TARDIS it turns out
to full of phalluses including a huge thick phallus posing in the
position of the central control column.
Whittaker's performance once again was dire, playing what sounds like a
hysterical housewife, not an intelligent scientist or medical
professional. The way the misandristic cunt Chibnall is going seems to
suggest that he intends to reveal that the Doctor was born a girl,
despite the fact that Listen reveals that he was a boy.
The writing was totally appalling, and the acting except for Art Malik
just a bad. It's no wonder the critics didn't like it either.
As for next week, it's the totally insulting and demeaning Let's Go Save
Rosa Parks episode.